Sometimes I feel

like a really horrible mom! This morning was one of those days. I was on the computer trying to figure out where to take the boys for their golf lessons. It was not going well because my confirmation did not have an address for the golf course & I was trying to figure out where it was.

Suddenly I am hit with a toy in the head. I think Ethan was trying to give the toy to me but was less than gentle. My anger level is rising with my throbbing head. I ask Josh to please play with Ethan so I can figure out where we need to go. Suddenly I hear Josh yelling that he is going to barf. I look over and Ethan has his pants all the way off & his taking off his diaper which happens to be filled with poop.

At that point, I reached my limit & lost my temper...yelled at everyone! I was so frustrated & annoyed. I was trying to work out details to take THEM to golf lessons & couldn't even get a little help.

That set the tone for the day & I just felt angry most of the day. Angry at them because sometimes I really feel like I am not appreciate and angry at myself for blowing up and yelling at them.

After we dropped the boys off at golf, I had 2 hours to kill with Ethan and Zach. The golf course is too far away to make it worthwhile to go home. I was hungry and decided to go get something to eat. The little boys and I went to Taco Time...there is a point...so we sit down and eat. None of us are really saying too much and all of the sudden Zach pretends to read this sign and says "You are the coolest mom ever" and then looks at me with a big smile. So, I felt a little better & a little less guilty!

Sometimes when things go bad, the only thing that is easily seen is the bad. I see this in Nate with his sports. When he has a game, he will focus on the one thing that went wrong and not the 5 things that were great. That morning I fell into the same trap. At that point, my entire life sucked & I wished I could be anywhere but sitting in the living room trying to figure out where golf lessons were while also dealing with a poop mess. I hope next time I don't let the bad moments overshadow all the good times! Sure, it is hard work to be home with 4 little boys but what greater reward can there be then to have one of them so sincerely tell you how much you matter!